Yes I hate that there is such a feeling of power wrapped up in it. And I hate myself for missing it because that version of me was so broken and lost. But the power and control — intoxicating. Ugh.
this feeling of nostalgia for lighter, thinner day must be in the air - or maybe the dirt. such a gorgeous piece, Sudana. I've been reading you for a while and never know what to say because mostly I'm left speechleas. But this I had to leave a fe words of admiration for. thank you
what a beautiful way of putting this feeling — I think for me, it used to be the contrast of becoming less and less as a way of hoping someone would see the heaviness that pulled me under when I was 17 and just craved something, anything I could control — something that society taught me was right, whatever their twisted definition was. just another way of hoping someone would see beyond your layers of silence and hear what you’re not saying.
reading this at work so i cannot cry but omg did this bring me to near-tears. I feel this on SO many levels. I'm trying to foster a healthier relationship with food and my body <3
That hit hard. I’m struggling with self-image, weight, and everything… As I read one of the comments above, I miss how I felt when I had my prominent collarbones. I miss the girl I was. I wasn’t afraid
restacked with my thoughts. i loved this very much in more ways than you could realize. it’s comforting even though it’s uncomfortable. great work darling.
this piece came to me while I was at the gym Saturday morning and I felt particularly not skinny and not attractive and my hair was greasy and I was ready to end it all.
ooof heard tried taking a selfie after yoga dripping in fuuuuuucking sweat and looking like a fridge because my waist has definition but the obliques aren’t what i want them to be and my mid abs almost made me cry which at 29 seems genuinely ridiculous. i’ll send it to you to read it before i post it as i genuinely want your opinion as to met it matters as i love your writing and you.
they’re not even proper abs, trust me haha. i’d send you a photo but i wouldn’t want you to feel that *switch* (you know the one haha) and cause bad thoughts. 2014 never ceases to leave me in even harmless progress pics and i definitely will beautiful girl. ♥️
I feel this. It’s depressing not to be as thin as I used to be. When I was that thin, I felt invincible. And mysterious. Quite powerful.
Yes I hate that there is such a feeling of power wrapped up in it. And I hate myself for missing it because that version of me was so broken and lost. But the power and control — intoxicating. Ugh.
this feeling of nostalgia for lighter, thinner day must be in the air - or maybe the dirt. such a gorgeous piece, Sudana. I've been reading you for a while and never know what to say because mostly I'm left speechleas. But this I had to leave a fe words of admiration for. thank you
definitely in the dirt, Faye.
thank you for your kind words.
Stumbled on your site. Your writing is gleefully insane. Good luck, young lady, from this old white guy.
Thank you John! “Gleefully insane” is a pretty damn near perfect description!
what a beautiful way of putting this feeling — I think for me, it used to be the contrast of becoming less and less as a way of hoping someone would see the heaviness that pulled me under when I was 17 and just craved something, anything I could control — something that society taught me was right, whatever their twisted definition was. just another way of hoping someone would see beyond your layers of silence and hear what you’re not saying.
There was definitely a huge aspect of control amidst a chaotic environment my childhood self was trying to make sense of.
I don’t think anyone really heard me though. Sometimes we just have to walk that path ourselves and create our own way out.
Thank you for reading and sharing your experience Viv.
You are amazing. Thank you for coming back to yourself and for being how you were meant to be.
I’ll read anything you write. It’s that good. If I see that you wrote it, I’m reading it.
This is a terrific piece of writing.
I’ve read Kundera. Just that book.
Enjoyed it. Loved this.
Thank you Kevin. That one is in my top 3 for sure.
And it’s been a while, come to think of it, so I may reread it. Thanks for sharing this piece. . So well written !
reading this at work so i cannot cry but omg did this bring me to near-tears. I feel this on SO many levels. I'm trying to foster a healthier relationship with food and my body <3
I am too
Hoping this brought you some solace in knowing you arent alone 🤍
That hit hard. I’m struggling with self-image, weight, and everything… As I read one of the comments above, I miss how I felt when I had my prominent collarbones. I miss the girl I was. I wasn’t afraid
Thank you sharing your story Fran. You aren’t struggling alone. Much love 🤍
Wow, this is so beautiful and deep. I feel like you just said out loud what nobody dares to say about healing.
Piercingly beautiful read ❤️🔥
Thank you Sophia, it was quite the trip writing it
I do. I do wanna get matching tattoos. 💜💜💜
Well rendered.
restacked with my thoughts. i loved this very much in more ways than you could realize. it’s comforting even though it’s uncomfortable. great work darling.
Thank you so much Alejandra. There’s something to be said about finding comfort in the uncomfortable.
agreed you’ve actually inspired a piece i’ve been putting off writing. i’ll tag you when it’s up.
write it, I’ll be the first to read it!
this piece came to me while I was at the gym Saturday morning and I felt particularly not skinny and not attractive and my hair was greasy and I was ready to end it all.
ooof heard tried taking a selfie after yoga dripping in fuuuuuucking sweat and looking like a fridge because my waist has definition but the obliques aren’t what i want them to be and my mid abs almost made me cry which at 29 seems genuinely ridiculous. i’ll send it to you to read it before i post it as i genuinely want your opinion as to met it matters as i love your writing and you.
You have abs 🥲
please send it, I’d be honored to read it 🤍
they’re not even proper abs, trust me haha. i’d send you a photo but i wouldn’t want you to feel that *switch* (you know the one haha) and cause bad thoughts. 2014 never ceases to leave me in even harmless progress pics and i definitely will beautiful girl. ♥️
Solid work here, Krasniqi 🍀
Frank! Thank you, sir.
🤍🤍🤍amazing
Thank you Emma