match.com
poem
like everything else in her comfortably average, small enough to fit into a one-bedroom apartment life Katie found Sean online she matched with him on one of those “alternative” dating apps designed for women who’ll call you “daddy” after two bottom shelf drinks (vodka Redbull, sugar-free) and men who found their idea of dominance in a pair of fuzzy handcuffs ($9.95, made in China, shipped overnight) two dates and five drinks later (vodka Redbull, sugar-free) Sean’s got Katie on all fours recreating 50 Shades (not quite grey) she’s turning green lapping up, gagging up his leftover whole milk (miss “I’m down for anything!”) tastes a hint of this mornings Frosted Flakes (they really are great) sick to her stomach, Sean hadn’t even bothered to read her quirky bio where she clearly mentioned (twice, no less) she was a vegan the least he could have done is get some 2%



Wait.
Sean adopted a cat.
Major Kathy Acker vibes, which is to say.... genius.