match.com

poem

like everything else
in her comfortably average, 
small enough to fit 
into a one-bedroom apartment
life 
Katie found Sean online

she matched with him
on one of those “alternative” dating apps
designed for women 
who’ll call you “daddy” 
after two bottom shelf drinks  
(vodka Redbull, sugar-free)
and men who found their idea of dominance
in a pair of fuzzy handcuffs 
($9.95, made in China, shipped overnight) 

two dates and five drinks later
(vodka Redbull, sugar-free)
Sean’s got Katie on all fours 
recreating 50 Shades 
(not quite grey) 
she’s turning green
lapping up, 
gagging up 
his leftover whole milk 
(miss “I’m down for anything!”)
tastes a hint of this mornings Frosted Flakes
(they really are great)
sick to her stomach, 
Sean hadn’t even bothered to read her quirky bio 
where she clearly mentioned 
(twice, no less)
she was a vegan

the least he could have done 
is get some 2%