Sudana, I really enjoyed reading that. I'm a Texan, but I used to spend a lot of time in NYC for business and my oldest daughter lives/works there now. I'm no angel with a halo, but I was brought up to be a gentleman. As you said, you were lucky, but I have to tell you that we are out there. Men who care, men who have manors and respect women. Good men, that know what it really means to be a man. Men that fail sometimes, like all of us do, but try very hard to do the right thing and do the honorable thing, in a jaded world that just doesn't seem give a flying ---- about those traits anymore. This statement you made, "There is a lot of discourse about men vs bears on the internet lately. Now I’ve had my fair share of loser ex boyfriends in my short life. Also, a lot of Eduardo’s willing to give a hopeless (desperate) romantic a ride home. So, at the risk of offending any bears, I think I’ll take my chances with the men." - that comment just made my day. We're out there Sudana, sometimes it seems our numbers are shrinking but we're still there. I know I sound old fashioned and out of date, but I really don't care. Anyway, I wish you nothing but good luck and I hope you meet, or have met, somebody you deserve. Somebody that will treat you right. - Jim
There is nothing old fashioned about still believing in humanity Jim! I’m really touched this little snippet of a moment in my life made your day. I often think back on times like this when it’s hard to find gratitude or kindness in the day to day and I smile.
On behalf of all the girls like me who sometimes need a helping hand, thank you.
This was a really nice read. Reminds me not everybody in the world is totally awful. We definitely need more stories like this out there. "Believing in humanity" is the only way to get by sometimes!
Absolutely! I try to hold on to the belief that for every horrid act there is at least one more story like this (that could have ended up horribly wrong) out there. Even in, or especially in, a city like New York.
The kindness you encountered is not rare; it's probably rarer for anyone to acknowledge needing it, but both are mighty nice when they happen. I'm glad you got home safe, and glad you wrote this post. You have a great voice.
These guys manifest ideals of how decent men are supposed to respond to a damsel-in-distress situation. And good on them, especially the cabby who not only wouldn't take your money but didn't hit on you. The only shadow is having to wonder if they would have done the same for a man. Impossible to know, but a lot of aspiring gentlemen wouldn't. The human heart always has a mix of motivating powers and one underlying being helpful, gallant and chaste toward the damsels while treating men as potential enemies to be vanquished is also an official Pillar of Patriarchy.
In the benign version of the patriarchy this manifests in patronizing, as well as coming to the rescue, of woman. It's mansplaining, and the assumption that a woman presumptively stands in need of our help whether she wants it or not. It's our unexamined assumption of innate superiority at play. If we were to discount upper body strength and the rarity of unarmed combat, as men we would have to acknowledge that women are actually very formidable personages. (In some of her roles, Kate Mara scares the bejesus out of me.) Few things make a man as anxious as a woman with a "resting bitch face." Without the placatory smile there's a Medusa to turn a guy to stone.
I thought I was early to the feminist party, the enlightened guy who in 1966 taught himself to cook, etc. But underneath, I never gave up an easy sense of superiority. What brought this home recently was Ryan Gosling's performance in Barbie. That stung.
The next phase of the feminist revolution ought to give attention to find a model of how to think of a replacement masculinity. One in which providing assistance and protection to someone in need is based on circumstances, not sex. I won't live to see it, and suggesting the idea can't redeem a lifetime of unreflecting patronizing. (All of this is much easier to realize and express since my prostate gland gave up the ghost and I became post-sexual.)
We need more hopeful stories like this.
I think hopeful moments like this got me through my 20s
Sudana, I really enjoyed reading that. I'm a Texan, but I used to spend a lot of time in NYC for business and my oldest daughter lives/works there now. I'm no angel with a halo, but I was brought up to be a gentleman. As you said, you were lucky, but I have to tell you that we are out there. Men who care, men who have manors and respect women. Good men, that know what it really means to be a man. Men that fail sometimes, like all of us do, but try very hard to do the right thing and do the honorable thing, in a jaded world that just doesn't seem give a flying ---- about those traits anymore. This statement you made, "There is a lot of discourse about men vs bears on the internet lately. Now I’ve had my fair share of loser ex boyfriends in my short life. Also, a lot of Eduardo’s willing to give a hopeless (desperate) romantic a ride home. So, at the risk of offending any bears, I think I’ll take my chances with the men." - that comment just made my day. We're out there Sudana, sometimes it seems our numbers are shrinking but we're still there. I know I sound old fashioned and out of date, but I really don't care. Anyway, I wish you nothing but good luck and I hope you meet, or have met, somebody you deserve. Somebody that will treat you right. - Jim
There is nothing old fashioned about still believing in humanity Jim! I’m really touched this little snippet of a moment in my life made your day. I often think back on times like this when it’s hard to find gratitude or kindness in the day to day and I smile.
On behalf of all the girls like me who sometimes need a helping hand, thank you.
“Does anyone even like Reservoir Dogs?”
I do. I like Reservoir Dogs.
I mean it’s okay, but does it need to be on loop? Does anything?
Message in a Bottle and Last Christmas, according to my 5 year old.
Had my attention at side boob tank.
Good shit, Krasniqi.
I’m still thrown off by someone calling me by my last name that isn’t a professor.
I like your style. It’s like
NYC street fiction.
Pretty much just me. Except it’s mostly non fiction :)
Everything's got at least a few drops of fiction :)
And thank you!
The way you tell stories is so engaging
Thank you Cristina! Thankful to have a space to tell them
Get in touch with Ira Glass—perfect for This American Life
Because you ain’t no goddam Blance LeBois
Ha! I’m glad someone here has read A Streetcar Named Desire!
this was so fun to read, you are a very gifted story teller 🤍
Thank you! It was good to tell a story with a happy ending for a change!
This was a really nice read. Reminds me not everybody in the world is totally awful. We definitely need more stories like this out there. "Believing in humanity" is the only way to get by sometimes!
Absolutely! I try to hold on to the belief that for every horrid act there is at least one more story like this (that could have ended up horribly wrong) out there. Even in, or especially in, a city like New York.
Thank you for reading Skyla
The way you write — reality or fiction I love this so-called life.
I believe in humanity again.
me too Will, me too
gotta remember to pay it forward
Absolutely 💯
ca, c'est cool
Everything’s got at least a few drops of fiction in it, I reckon 🍀
Ain’t that the truth ;)
Great story! Glad it worked out. There are good men out there! Nice to read a feel good article for once.
Would you believe I don’t like Reservoir Dogs?
Honestly not Tarantino’s best, in my opinion. Even Buscemi couldn’t save it.
KB2 on the other hand. I adore that movie.
The kindness you encountered is not rare; it's probably rarer for anyone to acknowledge needing it, but both are mighty nice when they happen. I'm glad you got home safe, and glad you wrote this post. You have a great voice.
These guys manifest ideals of how decent men are supposed to respond to a damsel-in-distress situation. And good on them, especially the cabby who not only wouldn't take your money but didn't hit on you. The only shadow is having to wonder if they would have done the same for a man. Impossible to know, but a lot of aspiring gentlemen wouldn't. The human heart always has a mix of motivating powers and one underlying being helpful, gallant and chaste toward the damsels while treating men as potential enemies to be vanquished is also an official Pillar of Patriarchy.
In the benign version of the patriarchy this manifests in patronizing, as well as coming to the rescue, of woman. It's mansplaining, and the assumption that a woman presumptively stands in need of our help whether she wants it or not. It's our unexamined assumption of innate superiority at play. If we were to discount upper body strength and the rarity of unarmed combat, as men we would have to acknowledge that women are actually very formidable personages. (In some of her roles, Kate Mara scares the bejesus out of me.) Few things make a man as anxious as a woman with a "resting bitch face." Without the placatory smile there's a Medusa to turn a guy to stone.
I thought I was early to the feminist party, the enlightened guy who in 1966 taught himself to cook, etc. But underneath, I never gave up an easy sense of superiority. What brought this home recently was Ryan Gosling's performance in Barbie. That stung.
The next phase of the feminist revolution ought to give attention to find a model of how to think of a replacement masculinity. One in which providing assistance and protection to someone in need is based on circumstances, not sex. I won't live to see it, and suggesting the idea can't redeem a lifetime of unreflecting patronizing. (All of this is much easier to realize and express since my prostate gland gave up the ghost and I became post-sexual.)