Hi Sudana, I love reading what you have to say and how you say it. Even though I'm an old man now, I remember. I think I told you in a previous comment that I have two grown daughters who I watched grow, who I reprimanded constantly, who I worried about endlessly, who I threatened when they needed it, who I loved (and still do) with every fiber of my being - and automatically hated and was suspicious of every boy they were in love with temporarily. You bring back those memories for me and I thank you for that. And I thank God, they love each other to this day. Appreciate you. - Jim
Jim! Thank you so much for your kind comment. Your daughters are lucky to have a father so loving and protective of them. We need men like you on our side.
Hope your girls didn’t fight nearly as much as we did.
Well, they had their run-ins but the fights they had with their mother were epic. Like, off the charts. I'm no choirboy by any stretch of the imagination but honestly the things they would say to each other in the heat of battle were...just...god-awful. And I do mean awful, terrible stuff, haha. The next day, it was like it never happened. I think most guys, including me, just aren't built that way. What's said is said and there's no taking it back, haha. Anyway, have a great rest of the night and tomorrow too. - Jim
honestly in my pretty little head everything was fan-fuckin-tastic until they (thankfully) came along! I was neat, polite, quiet, studious! eldest daughters > everyone else
My brother once pantsed me outside a house we rented in the Poconos for the family summer vacation. I waited till we got to the lake and threw sand in his face when he came down a slide. The next year he grew his big toe nail out, cut it to a point and kicked the back of my leg in the pool. Still have a tiny scar on my ankle
this was a lovely read. though i’m an older sister of two brothers, not three sisters, i too have a special kind of dysfunction in my home, and though it may be hard to imagine at this exact moment, i feel i’ll miss it very much once i move away. thank u for sharing a piece of your childhood with us <3
I miss them now only because I have the actual physical and emotional space to do so, I think. Siblings truly have a special bond. Thank you for reading and good luck with brothers 🥴
This was fun to read Sudana. I grew up with 4 other sisters so I can relate. As well as the military style rationing of baths lol. It's always refreshing to read your pieces, it must be the way you write it. It's pretty much relatable.
I’m glad it got a laugh! For me I have to find humor in it or else I’ll cry.
Took maybe 10 years of not being able to stand each other to get to where we are (and actual distance), but I couldn’t go on fighting these people that look and sound just like me forever I guess.
This:“When you grow up forced to share space and almost everything you own with little people you didn’t choose to do any of this with, you become fiercely overprotective of what is left that is just yours“ was so important for me to read today!!! Thank you so much for this essay. I am also currently writing about space within family structures and how that effected me taking and giving spacing outside of it, coupled with my desires and needs. Have to subscribe now !
Thank you for reading and I’m so relieved that this resonated with you and it isn’t just me lol. Family dynamics are all so unique and complex. Only now in my late 30s is any of it really starting to make sense.
Do you find that having only sisters and no brothers has affected your relationships with men? Is it easier getting along with and making friends with other women than it is with men? May seem like an obvious answer but I’m the other way around.
I grew up with only sisters and as male, it’s always been easier for me to connect with women rather than other men, with whom I feel an all-consuming competitiveness. I just feel more comfortable with women.
This is a fantastic question and my answer is very much similar to yours. I have always been a “guys-girl” for sure. For whatever reasons it’s always been much easier for me to befriend men. It’s almost as if I had my fill of women, growing up surrounded by nothing but. The cattiness has worn me down and I just found comfort in the ease of being “one of the bros”.
Now that I’m older and hopefully wiser enough to navigate adult friendships I am trying to open up to women more but old habits die hard.
Hi Sudana, I love reading what you have to say and how you say it. Even though I'm an old man now, I remember. I think I told you in a previous comment that I have two grown daughters who I watched grow, who I reprimanded constantly, who I worried about endlessly, who I threatened when they needed it, who I loved (and still do) with every fiber of my being - and automatically hated and was suspicious of every boy they were in love with temporarily. You bring back those memories for me and I thank you for that. And I thank God, they love each other to this day. Appreciate you. - Jim
Jim! Thank you so much for your kind comment. Your daughters are lucky to have a father so loving and protective of them. We need men like you on our side.
Hope your girls didn’t fight nearly as much as we did.
Well, they had their run-ins but the fights they had with their mother were epic. Like, off the charts. I'm no choirboy by any stretch of the imagination but honestly the things they would say to each other in the heat of battle were...just...god-awful. And I do mean awful, terrible stuff, haha. The next day, it was like it never happened. I think most guys, including me, just aren't built that way. What's said is said and there's no taking it back, haha. Anyway, have a great rest of the night and tomorrow too. - Jim
This shall be required reading for my 4 girls.
Also, gonna need some sorta hotline to call when they get into the knifing stage. When’s that, 12? 13?
I laughed out loud at that- we filmed a horror movie once with our cousins and omfg there were actually knives. so yes, I’d say 13 sounds about right!
the oldest child superiority complex is too real. this was such a lovely read
honestly in my pretty little head everything was fan-fuckin-tastic until they (thankfully) came along! I was neat, polite, quiet, studious! eldest daughters > everyone else
(half kidding)
My brother once pantsed me outside a house we rented in the Poconos for the family summer vacation. I waited till we got to the lake and threw sand in his face when he came down a slide. The next year he grew his big toe nail out, cut it to a point and kicked the back of my leg in the pool. Still have a tiny scar on my ankle
Yo the planning that went into that, damn
This is why I’m glad we had no brothers
This was so sweet. Nothing better than learning how to become actual friends with your siblings.
It took us a while but we made it. And if I’m being honest, the birth of my niece brought us together in a way I would have never imagined
I am so happy no one in my house could come close to beating me up lol
I loved that. I would read what you write every day if you did.
My spending on books has dropped to almost zero since substack :)
This means so much coming from you, as your writing style is one of my favorites on here (even if we disagree on Nine Inch Nails)
this was a lovely read. though i’m an older sister of two brothers, not three sisters, i too have a special kind of dysfunction in my home, and though it may be hard to imagine at this exact moment, i feel i’ll miss it very much once i move away. thank u for sharing a piece of your childhood with us <3
I miss them now only because I have the actual physical and emotional space to do so, I think. Siblings truly have a special bond. Thank you for reading and good luck with brothers 🥴
This was fun to read Sudana. I grew up with 4 other sisters so I can relate. As well as the military style rationing of baths lol. It's always refreshing to read your pieces, it must be the way you write it. It's pretty much relatable.
Thank you Ika! Growing up in a huge family is equal parts frustrating and the most rewarding childhood I could have asked for.
But I’m thankful I can take a full TWENTY mins in my own lovely shower now, uninterrupted :)
I can relate. It is bliss!
I’ve had a lot of violent fights with my older sister and little cousins. Childhood is violent!
i'm not close to my siblings. this made me laugh out loud and also be extremely jealous!
I’m glad it got a laugh! For me I have to find humor in it or else I’ll cry.
Took maybe 10 years of not being able to stand each other to get to where we are (and actual distance), but I couldn’t go on fighting these people that look and sound just like me forever I guess.
This:“When you grow up forced to share space and almost everything you own with little people you didn’t choose to do any of this with, you become fiercely overprotective of what is left that is just yours“ was so important for me to read today!!! Thank you so much for this essay. I am also currently writing about space within family structures and how that effected me taking and giving spacing outside of it, coupled with my desires and needs. Have to subscribe now !
Thank you for reading and I’m so relieved that this resonated with you and it isn’t just me lol. Family dynamics are all so unique and complex. Only now in my late 30s is any of it really starting to make sense.
Sudana! Thanks for sharing this. It was funny but also super heartfelt--so you!
I think the humor makes sharing these stories a little easier- for myself and the reader. And thanks, Larry David taught me ;)
Do you find that having only sisters and no brothers has affected your relationships with men? Is it easier getting along with and making friends with other women than it is with men? May seem like an obvious answer but I’m the other way around.
I grew up with only sisters and as male, it’s always been easier for me to connect with women rather than other men, with whom I feel an all-consuming competitiveness. I just feel more comfortable with women.
This is a fantastic question and my answer is very much similar to yours. I have always been a “guys-girl” for sure. For whatever reasons it’s always been much easier for me to befriend men. It’s almost as if I had my fill of women, growing up surrounded by nothing but. The cattiness has worn me down and I just found comfort in the ease of being “one of the bros”.
Now that I’m older and hopefully wiser enough to navigate adult friendships I am trying to open up to women more but old habits die hard.
it was a Disney princess color booking actually, if you must know
That made me laugh, nicely done